Wednesday, May 27, 2009

lots of prayers needed for Brian!

lots of prayers needed for Brian!

He signed himself into a hospital last night! (monday night now)
I am going on 2 hours of sleep since monday morning 8am...
Poor Bri I was never so scared for him... Him and Don had it out and I believe that was the final straw... I went to the store with Bethany and came home to ask for help with the cases of soda and brian came out of his rooom so upset and in tears to the point I didn't know what he was saying... he scared me! He got out "I need help, I'm sick... I am having thought!"
My neighbor took us to the hospital at 5:30 LGH couldn't take him because of his age... BUT we sat there for transport 7.5 hours to go to another hospital... I called his dad to fill him in... his response was ... after I told him what brian's thoughts were..."HMMM" then he went on to say how Don was a BIG part of his problem! HELLOOOO!!!!
This coming from the "dad" who wlks into the house, ignores Brian who is less then a ft from him to say "HEY Boo , want to hit golf balls with me later this week!" Brian who says "What about me dad?" David says "you can hit golf balls too" Brian says I don't want too, David says "what do you want to do! Brian says "bowling" david says "what about roller skating?"


then don and Bri had a huge fight

and then Bri had a complete break down and he is in a hospital an hour away. And I am the only one on the visitors list, he didn't want hi sister or dad on the list. I told david , not sure how he took it, he didn't say much when I told him that! Bri made the list! I wrote it, he told me who to put!

OH and Ang knows a lot of this already!

even the part about Brittany and Don maybe moving out!

I told Brittany that they have till ?-X-02 to save and find a place! She took it like I thought she would , all pissy at first BUT she knows the door is always opened to her IF things don't work out with her and Don . I told her I love her and her brother very much , BUT if she want to be with Don I understand! BUT this is Bri's home BEFORE Don's. Since they were 19 and 21 they need to get out on their own! I stopped rent and she doesn't have to pay me back for the bird. Don starts work soon so they should have plenty saved up for a place by aug 1 IF they are short a a few ( no more the 2) hundred I will give it to them!

BUT I want my Bri Guy back!

Please pray!!!!!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Every other weekend.....

I had it out with david friday night (5-15-09)! I told him to step up and be a dad! After Brent pushed me, while get out of his dad's van. his reply? Honest to God , his reply! "I am a dad every other weekend!"

he is the biggest jerk ever! we had it out in the drive way... it brought the neighbors out!
and believe it or not the new wife was agreeing with almost everything I said to him!
it just blows me away that he said that though! "I am a dad every other weekend!" So does that mean since he when has the kids on his weekend (only because I begged him) I am not a mom on his weekend?
he also told Brent after Brent told him he NEEDED shoes , David told him "If your good I will buy you shoes!" this coming from a butthead who has not paid support since Jan!!!! well EXCUSE ME he paid one month... he is still behind 3 months... so what he did pay last month does not count!
my neighbors asked if his wages were "garinshed" I said "NO he is self emplyed, he has to pay out of the goodness of his heart!"

Oh wait he has no heart was my response!!!

from what the kids tell me the second wife was putting him in his place from the get go! I should of done that from day one! BUT I was being the "bible wife" . And bending over backwrds to please my husband! I was shocked though that she was agreeing with me with the things I was finally telling him after 19 yrs!
NOW I just feel like crying! you've seen pictures of my kids! how can he deny them like that? how can any man do that to their kids! ANYONE can be a sperm donor! it takes a REAL man to be a dad!

Now I just want to cry how can he deny his own flesh and blood, Things are been nuts here. I have day care kids here every day from 6 to 6 and then my kids. No time to breath! Been having a lot of trouble with Brian and Brent. I feel like I am losing control of them! And their dad is of no help! I just don't get how he can do and say what he does, I don't get it.
I just feel like I can't take my kids any where any more, they act out so bad!
David still has not paid child support and now we have a court hearing date set for the 29th of May! He has only paid 2 months of support this year!
I sure could use some prayers , we need all the prayers we can get. Maybe for the boys to start listening again, and for David to step up and help parent! When I asked him to step up and be a dad and help out, he told me "I am a dad every other weekend!" WHAT? I am a mom 24/7. How is he only a dad every other weekend? Brian is so hurt and upset over how his dad treats him, I think that has a lot to do with why Brian is acting out, But David doesn't get it, instead he tells people I am a bad mom. He just loves to shift the blame. My heart breaks for my kids! He picks favorites and has the balls to say I am a bad mom!

OH and his weekends this yr? can be counted on one hand! He took them the weekend of 1-11-09, 2-21-09 and May 15,09.

ANY EXCUSES FOR HIM NOW??? "She'll" probably come up with one "She" e-mailed me one from my last post! Wish I could block ONLY "her" instead of going private!

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

it gets on my nerves!!!!






Thursday, May 7, 2009

No more yesterdays

I am so glad yesterday is over!!!! What a nightmare I had, and of course the EX is of no help!!!!
My 16 yr old went missing and his dad could of cared less, half of Lititz was looking' for him ALL BUT his dad! Brian didn't come home after school. They get out a little after 3 and he sometimes walks to the day care with his friend to get her baby, well the latest he normally gets home from that is 4:30, 4:30 comes and goes no Brian, 5pm comes and goes NO BRIAN, I call his dad at 4:30 and then again at about quarter of and then I called his I called Brian's gf I told her if he was she needs to tell me and not cover for him it will just make things worse, I told her I was getting ready to call the COPS.So I called his dad a few more times asked his dad for help all I got was "HUMMM" I said "Can you jump in your van and help look?" I got a "HMMM" as if I was putting him out! My neighbors were bending over backwards to help .I called my friend Amy and David again, he is of NO help, So I called Rob to see what my options were, he told me the police wouldn't do anything for 12 hours! He said he was serving papers but would come over and help me too! 2 of my day care kids were still here, she calls me to tell me she is going to be late, 40 minutes late, I told her have her bf come get the kids then because I have a bit of an ER here, funny thing is she ended up getting here within 20 minutes, something tells me she was with her bf and not at work. So the day care left and I went to Amy's to talk to her husband, he said Why don't you call him on his cell? I told him I took it from him, he was grounded, what does he do with his kids and their cell when they are grounded? He said parent control, I didn't know they had that! I called david yet again, asked him if he could go around town to look and he sounded so put out! I asked him to call Brian's gf too, to see if he gets the same story! he said WHY??? ummmm because we were teenagers at one time too david you tell me why! He even sounded put out by making a call. My neighbor told me to call the police anyway ( despite the 12 hour thing). Especially since Brian is always saying he is going to run away.
so I did call the police, then I was told to go home and wait for them to show up! when I got back to the house Brian just walked threw the door too... 3.5 hours after school! I called the police back to let them know he came back! I called Rob too, BUT he still showed up anyway! Brian says he was at the park with his friends and it was my fault because I took his ... cell phone! I told him the 2 people he told me he was with had cells he could of used their phone for 30 seconds to let me know where he was! He told me know one cares! I told him IF I didn't care I wouldn't of called the police and told them to a T what he was wearing, his gf called back to see if he came home and his friend that he normally walks to day care with came down later to see if he came home!
He just upsets me thinking I don't care! WOULD I of gone through all that IF I didn't care!?
David has been like that since the day he walked out on us! and I would bet my bottom dollar Brian is acting out like this to get his dad's attention and he couldn't even get it ( his attention) tonight either!he picks favorites with our kids and makes it known too! IT shows BIG time who his favorites are! it's very sad.
Rob tried talking to Brian and scaring him about dentention halls, he seems to think he will have it better there then he does here!

Thanks to ALL those who were there for me! Rob< Amy, Michelle, Brett, Casey, Bill, Corry....

SO NEEDLESS TO SAY I gave him his cell phone back with parental controls on it! he can ONLY call ME, Brittany, HOME and his dad! and no texes either, I think he can Tex the people he can call!
I didn't know about parental controls on a cell until Bill told me about them! Thanks BILL!!!!

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

I just have to repsot this

not written by me, BUT I like it!

by Precious
Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around.

You tell them things that you've never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more.

You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you.

When something wonderful happens, you can't wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement.

They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself.

Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful.

There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition
but only a quiet calmness when they are around.

You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are.

The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever.

Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it's like being young again. Colors seem brighter and more brilliant.

Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn't exist at all.

A phone call or two during the day helps to get you
through a long day's work and always brings a smile to your face.

In their presence, there's no need for continuous conversation, but you find you're quite content in just having them nearby.

Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you.

You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon.

You open your heart knowing that there's a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible.

You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that's so real it scares you.

You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and
possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end.

Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.

Sister vent

my sister just doesn't get it... she doesn't think she casued my mom to get sick, of course it's not 100% her fault , my mom was abused pretty much from birth till my dad died! well then my sister pretty much picked up where my dad left off. But
she swears up and down "she didn't do it" she didn't cause my mom to get sick! they didn't fight that bad ( her words) she doesn't realize that just a little here and there adds up and there is only so much a person can take! I just want to tell her to grow the heck up it's not all about her and she did cause some of our moms problems, she sure didn't help the situation!
I hate when the phone rings 9 out of 10 times I let the machine pick up, yesterday I answered it and it was her, I dreaded picking up , I need to let the machine get it, she complains the whole conversation and I can't deal with it, it's not who I am, I often wonder how I ended up the way I did , care free happy go lucky let it roll off my back like a duck in rain type when I lived the situation for 17 yrs too?
It really annoyed me when she made the comment yesterday that she didn't have the time to deal with karen and scott that she was trying to make ends meet, the thing is it's not about karen and scott it was about our mom and I am trying to make ends meet too BUT with 4 kids and no child support!I am still trying to figure out how and what to do to help OUR mom!

My sister is almost 44 years old will ever get it, that it's not all about her?
She never had kids so I don't think she will get it! BUT then again I have a few freinds who are in their 40s with no kids and they get it!

My sister is coming up sat and we are taking our mom out, susan will pretned everyhting is peachy that there is nothing wrong with mom, BUT she will will bitch about how she was made to move out and yadda, yadda ya... take my mom back to her home and act as if we are one big happy family, it's pretty messed up!

I am going to try and see if my mom either want to move here or try and get in that appartment down the street! it goes by income and she could only have to pay 492. a month or 692 depending... BUT 692 is the highest! I hate her in that home. if she were closer I could see her more! and she could see her grand kids more!

Please keep us in your thougths and prayers!