Mr. Maybe?

So I posted on FB the other day, then removed it after a day or 2 that status didn't get any replies but the status that followed it did... The post that followed it went something like : "FYI ,The Previous status was not about YOU or YOU or YOU!"
The status that made me write that one, went something like! Never fails... Murphy's law, I dumped $$ into a date site, (live and learn) and the very next day (go figure) Mr. Maybe starts to text me again, haven't heard from him since July... IDK We shall see...
Well now after I posted that I got to thinking a certain few who do read my status may think I was talking about them since they sent a few text around the same time Mr Maybe did...
Not to many make their way here, So I thought I would just get my thoughts out here.
They were all in my head when I went out for a walk now they are all gone, I hate when that happens...
Now it won't come out the way I really wanted it to, but here goes anyway.
L it wasn't meant to you, your friendship means the world to me , and I don't want to scare you away, thinking that the post was about you.
K, ugh wasn't towards you either... there are days I wish we could get our "stuff" together...
Mr Maybe (?) currently has no Internet so he says... when he first came to face book back in early spring we talked and kept in touch almost every day, until the day he sent a letter saying he moved out of state...
Well Thursday morning a week ago, I opened my profile back up on a date site, it was telling me I have letters and flirts and winks and to see them I had to pay, Well something in side of me said who knows, I've done the on line thing before and met a few great friends that way "L" ... Well I did  @@  I thought they were going to take it out monthly but they took it out all in one lump sum ....
The very next night my cells dings  it's  Mr Maybe "I want to see you!" ME: "I thought you moved?" Mr Maybe: "Are you kidding me? It was a joke!" Me: "ha ha" (insert sarcasm ) .... these text went on for the next 24 hours non stop even ones at 4 am.... Mr Maybe: "Are we dating?" Me: "Idk, r we?"
So now we are "seeing!"
I don't know though... I'm confused... been riding solo for 9 yrs kinda of like it, it took me awhile to get to this point in my life. Although some nights I miss being with someone. Riding solo isn't that bad.
I went out with Mr Maybe way back in the day, before David ( the ex) we were young 14 & 15... He broke up with me for another girl... maybe that was my kamra though cuz I broke up with K to go out with G but like I said we were young....
back in May, June and July of this year when we were talking, he mentioned me moving to be with him, He in so many words said "move here!" I told him "I can't afford it!" he said "I can"
but that kind of was dropped... BUT I am NOT comfortable with uprooting my kids for a man... What IF ( nothings guaranteed in life) things didn't work out and he tells me to get my shit and get out and the kids and I are left homeless? I feel like if a If a man wants me, nothing can keep him away.
I've lived here in this house for 20 yrs the same house the same town, my kids have grown up here. This is their home and I won't up root them for anyone.. If  a man wants to be with me and cares about me he would understand this. Until my kids are grown and out on their own I am staying put.
So since Monday the texts have slowed down they are few and far, he did have his kids last night. So who knows... I am not sure what to do! Do I stay on the date site, I paid for it, UGH! If I didn't pay for it this probably wouldn't of ever happened.


                                                   

Allow your intuition or spirit to save you from heartache....

Tonight I wanna cry

WOW so much for blood being thicker then water!!! Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse...

Contrary to popular belief I am not strong. I broke down and cried, after I hung up on my mom from a phone call. She is confused , she is mixed up she puts words in my mouth I never said. And she seems to like BUTTHEAD still after all he has done to me and her grand kids. I am still hurt to this day that she hugged him after the fact he cheated on me and she knew it too!!!!!! HELL would freeze over before I hugged any man that cheated on my daughters!!! They better know how the hell to run...
She seems to think the courts are for me too... That they will do what they say when they tell David if he doesn't pay he will go to jail... They have been saying that for yrs.. they never follow through, they only say it to scare him and it only works for a month or 2 then he is right back to being an ass.
She thinks the courts and David are the greatest... She thinks yesterdays court hearing David paid up in full and I am a millionaire and I am rolling in the dough. UGH!!!!  She just doesn't understand the system and ex's how they both suck!


I am at my wits end and don't know what else to do... I've prayed and prayed and still my prayers are going un heard. The Bible says God helps those who help themselves... WELL guess what...

I will do what I have to do for my kids.

just messin around

Just messin' around didn't know how till add pictures until this entry...Now trying to figure out how to make the journal pretty too...

Is it wrong to say I told you so

Just like I said he cried boo-hoo to the court personal yesterday in Child support court. They said "don't do it, again!" and "see you in Nov!" There is a continuous hearing. I don't have to be there. I didn't have to be at this one either and David asked Why I was there, I told him I wanted to find out what was going on. BUT he boo hooed how he has this bill and that bill and his house is going into forclouser.He paid a little bit BUT what really got me was he told them "I have bills" I spoke up and said "This is a bill!" he turns around and said "I would give my kids my last nickel if I could!" Yeah that's why my mom has been helping out off and on since Feb. Reminds me of the time Brittany asked her dad for money for jeans and he said NO but then the very next thing he did was give his step daughter enough money where Brittany could of bought 4 pairs of jeans. Right after he told Brittany no too!
It just makes me so mad that he can boo hoo to the courts and the courts just says "don't do it again or "other actions" (jail) will be taken against you! HELLO how many times do they say that before they actually follow through?
So he paid some... swears he paid in late Aug. he says "I sent it, I don't know why they won't give it to her!" @@ He let his 6 yr old mail it, she probably stuck it in her play purse or gave it to her mom or threw it away.
Anyway he did give a check to them BUT it will take another week to hit my account.He was telling the court how his house in foreclosure is it wrong to be a little bit happy? I warned him 9 yrs again"mark my word David, I said"She is going to bankrupt you and when she does she will be gone, she will leave you with nothing and go back to Paris!" Well here we are 9 yrs later and he is about to lose his house and there it talk that she plans on leaving him. When I told him that nine years ago all he said in a calm voice was "well maybe she will!" I can't believe he threw away 18 yrs and a family for her and the mess she got him into... I tried to warn him... Sorry to say BUT I KNOW EVERYTHING!!! So when she does go and he is in a one room apartment would it be wrong of me to happy dance and say I TOLD YOU SO???

???

Why am I so freakin picky when it comes to the men in my life? Yet some women just settle?

Lyrics

As I laid in bed last night a few lyrics popped to mind... I love lyrics to certain songs... I once was told to listen to a song called "angel eyes" from this guy I was in a relationship with... he tells me "but don't read into it!" Hello don't tell me to listen to a song but don't read into it. What's the point in listiening to it then? The following day he broke it off with me.
Then there was this other song that was once thrown into a text I was having with someone, not the song but a line from it, and it often makes me wonder what he was thinking when he said it... Now every time I hear the song I think of him and the text. I wonder if he thinks of me when he hears the song. I dare not mention the song or the text because if he happens to be lurking, surly he will know who I am talking about, he seems to always know when my facebook post are about him.

any who I'm just thinking out loud and just wanted to type them.

I just love music!

UGH!!!

So I call David, ask him if he sent CS (again) , he says NO he is waiting till the court hearing on Wed... then says "I don't feel like going to this!" HELLO McFly all you have to do is pay CS and we wouldn't have to go to court! And I am out a days pay becuz of it... oh not to mention out 4 months of CS too....
i just wish he had a normal job that took his money from him so I wouldn't have to deal with him... I would be happy all the time becuz I wouldn't have to deal with him at all then.


insert SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!